Our eighth blog linked to Lewisham Voices Facebook video posts is a poem perfect for the Silly Squad Summer Reading Challenge for children.
In this weekly series, the stories, memories, poems and writing from people who live, worked or wrote about the area of Lewisham are shared.
Enjoy Lewisham Voices. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=275780856957378
Ben Fox is a London born actor who now lives in Sydenham with Rosie, with whom he co-founded Foxtots, a Sydenham babies & toddlers music group, and daughter Ruby. He used to do lots of actor-musical jobs like 'The Commitments' (Palace), the Olivier award winning 'Return to the Forbidden Planet' - Cambridge Theatre, 'Backbeat' - Duke of York, 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' - Savoy Theatre (as Robert Lindsay’s sidekick). He met Rosie playing the Jack Lemmon role of Daphne in the musical of Some Like It Hot (Rosie was Marilyn) which meant that he was (almost) fully shaved and dressed as a woman when they started their relationship. Nowadays - since Ruby has come onto the scene - he prefers (if he can get it!) to do TV stuff (Game of Thrones, The Crown, Silent Witness, Vanity Fair, Les Miserables, Summer of Rockets). He plays a little bit of trumpet and a little bit of guitar and writes a little bit of all sorts, including for Foxtots and the odd - sometimes very odd - idea for children's books. He's very good with pancakes. Apparently.
SIR BASIL AND THE CHEESE FACTORY
Sir Basil Tum Tum Bottomley loved cheese of every kind,
Be it hard or runny, he even ate the rind.
He liked it mild, he liked it strong, he really liked it smelly
He liked it for his breakfast, and he liked it watching telly
He even made up cheesy games to play, like “Toss the Stilton”.
(adapted from the Scottish sport but no need for a kilt on)
And once upon a Friday night, Sir Basil had a laugh,
He melted fifty pounds of Brie and took a cheesy bath.
I think you’ve got the picture now; the man was cheese obsessed
Which meant that as the weeks went by his cheese supply grew less.
He needed a solution, but nothing seemed to do
When suddenly a thought occurred while sitting on the loo.
“Eureka!” he exploded, leaping from the lavatory.
“To have a constant cheese supply, I’ll build a factory”
So, with his wealth, he hired the greatest builders in the trade
And by the end of wintertime, the last brick had been laid
So there it stood, his factory, all shiny and brand new.
To celebrate, Sir Basil ate a wheel of Danish Blue.
One hundred copper vats that mixed one hundred recipes
His goal was nothing less than make the World’s Most Tasty Cheese!
Oh, what a happy ending if the story ended here,
But things went bad for Bottomley so bend a cautious ear,
For here’s a lesson you should learn if you too share this vice
All factories for making cheese have one big problem…MICE!
He glimpsed the first whilst working on a batch of Mozzarella,
A tiny chap so Basil waved, “Hello there little fella”
But more appeared upon the shelves stacked up with Caerphilly.
“Oh, deary me” he tutted “this is starting to get silly”
They ran in scores beneath the draws that kept his best Ricottas
“Oh, cheese and chutney!” Basil cried “Get out, you little rotters!”
It dawned on him that he might lose his lovely factory
And so he roared his battle cry “It’s either mice or me!”
He brought in traps. He brought a cat. He used his old school cricket bat,
But even after all of that, not one of them could Basil catch.
And, so he lost the battle and stood glumly in despair.
He cried out in his anguish “It’s too much to Camembert!”
But all the time Sir Basil B was struggling with the vermin
He’d somehow failed to notice that the nippers had been learning.
And only then he saw the ladder leant against the vat.
And watched in horror as they climbed then dived into the batch
“No, no!” cried Basil Bottomley “That new lot isn’t tested”
- the mice went on oblivious to the fact he had protested -
And up they climbed and in they dived without an invitation
Poor Bottomley just stood there screaming “Cheese contamination!”
Without a thought for his own life he dived into the mix
And when he surfaced once again, he licked his cheesy lips.
The mice, who had been swimming round all stopped and watched his face
For they already knew exactly what was taking place
To his delight, he realised, that the batch the mice had chosen
Was finer than the finest cheese he’d ever stuck his nose in
For who else would you trust to find the best cheese in the house?
Why, you all know the answer, yes, it has to be a mouse!
Then Basil laughed and they laughed too and then they laughed together
For now, he knew that - with their help - he’d made the best cheese ever.
From that day on the factory was filled with cheese and laughter.
And you know how this story ends. Happily Ever After.
Sir Basil Tum Tum Bottomley loved cheese of every kind,
Be it hard or runny, he even ate the rind.
He liked it mild, he liked it strong, he really liked it smelly
He liked it for his breakfast, and he liked it watching telly
He even made up cheesy games to play, like “Toss the Stilton”.
(adapted from the Scottish sport but no need for a kilt on)
And once upon a Friday night, Sir Basil had a laugh,
He melted fifty pounds of Brie and took a cheesy bath.
I think you’ve got the picture now; the man was cheese obsessed
Which meant that as the weeks went by his cheese supply grew less.
He needed a solution, but nothing seemed to do
When suddenly a thought occurred while sitting on the loo.
“Eureka!” he exploded, leaping from the lavatory.
“To have a constant cheese supply, I’ll build a factory”
So, with his wealth, he hired the greatest builders in the trade
And by the end of wintertime, the last brick had been laid
So there it stood, his factory, all shiny and brand new.
To celebrate, Sir Basil ate a wheel of Danish Blue.
One hundred copper vats that mixed one hundred recipes
His goal was nothing less than make the World’s Most Tasty Cheese!
Oh, what a happy ending if the story ended here,
But things went bad for Bottomley so bend a cautious ear,
For here’s a lesson you should learn if you too share this vice
All factories for making cheese have one big problem…MICE!
He glimpsed the first whilst working on a batch of Mozzarella,
A tiny chap so Basil waved, “Hello there little fella”
But more appeared upon the shelves stacked up with Caerphilly.
“Oh, deary me” he tutted “this is starting to get silly”
They ran in scores beneath the draws that kept his best Ricottas
“Oh, cheese and chutney!” Basil cried “Get out, you little rotters!”
It dawned on him that he might lose his lovely factory
And so he roared his battle cry “It’s either mice or me!”
He brought in traps. He brought a cat. He used his old school cricket bat,
But even after all of that, not one of them could Basil catch.
And, so he lost the battle and stood glumly in despair.
He cried out in his anguish “It’s too much to Camembert!”
But all the time Sir Basil B was struggling with the vermin
He’d somehow failed to notice that the nippers had been learning.
And only then he saw the ladder leant against the vat.
And watched in horror as they climbed then dived into the batch
“No, no!” cried Basil Bottomley “That new lot isn’t tested”
- the mice went on oblivious to the fact he had protested -
And up they climbed and in they dived without an invitation
Poor Bottomley just stood there screaming “Cheese contamination!”
Without a thought for his own life he dived into the mix
And when he surfaced once again, he licked his cheesy lips.
The mice, who had been swimming round all stopped and watched his face
For they already knew exactly what was taking place
To his delight, he realised, that the batch the mice had chosen
Was finer than the finest cheese he’d ever stuck his nose in
For who else would you trust to find the best cheese in the house?
Why, you all know the answer, yes, it has to be a mouse!
Then Basil laughed and they laughed too and then they laughed together
For now, he knew that - with their help - he’d made the best cheese ever.
From that day on the factory was filled with cheese and laughter.
And you know how this story ends. Happily Ever After.
The Silly Squad Summer Reading Challenge
will celebrate funny books, happiness and laughter.
You can join the Silly Squad, an adventurous team of animals who love to have a laugh and get stuck in to all different kinds of funny books!
It is going to be online this year but it is still going to be fun to join in.
You set your own challenge of how many books to read.
Choose from all the e-books and e-audio books available free from Lewisham Libraries.
Watch videos, tell jokes and play games.
And get a certificate when you finish your challenge!
Go to the Reading Agency website to start your challenge and Lewisham Libraries Silly Squad facebook Group to tell us a joke, for more information, to checkout some books and the chance to win prizes.
Silly Squad
Lewisham Libraries Silly Squad Facebook Group
will celebrate funny books, happiness and laughter.
You can join the Silly Squad, an adventurous team of animals who love to have a laugh and get stuck in to all different kinds of funny books!
It is going to be online this year but it is still going to be fun to join in.
You set your own challenge of how many books to read.
Choose from all the e-books and e-audio books available free from Lewisham Libraries.
Watch videos, tell jokes and play games.
And get a certificate when you finish your challenge!
Go to the Reading Agency website to start your challenge and Lewisham Libraries Silly Squad facebook Group to tell us a joke, for more information, to checkout some books and the chance to win prizes.
Silly Squad
Lewisham Libraries Silly Squad Facebook Group
Foxtots - Baby Toddler Music Group
Live musical instruments, hands on props, original tunes (plus some old favourites!), puppets, bubbles, percussion for the kids, story telling & more!
www.happity.co.uk/foxtots
Live musical instruments, hands on props, original tunes (plus some old favourites!), puppets, bubbles, percussion for the kids, story telling & more!
www.happity.co.uk/foxtots
Magazines
You have access to nearly 4,400 digital magazines titles through RB Digital and Press Reader. Find inspiration, new hobbies, gossip, history and learn something new with our wide selection of magazines. This service is available through a computer as well as through apps you can download to your phone or tablet. Get your library card ready and start reading!Read our e-magazines here
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